EPMS: How long has Something Wicked been together?
Dave: Stevie and me, thirteen years.
Jimmy: I've been in the band for six months.
Dave: Time flies... Something Wicked has been together thirteen years. Stevie has a newspaper from our first gig at Butterfield's, which is Mulligan's now.
Stevie: But this is our first interview. We're virgins.
Bernie: I've been in the band eight months.
EPMS: What places do you play?
Gil: Handlebars, Crawdaddys
Dave: (deadpans) Next week, we're playing Peter Piper Pizza.
Dave: We are doing the Balloon Fest.
Jimmy: (to Dave) Is that confirmed?
Stevie: It is for sure.
EPMS: Favorite dead musician?
Dave: Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Stevie: John Bonham
Jimmy: Randy Rhoads... The way Randy Rhoads used to jam makes me get hard...
EPMS: What would surprise people about Something Wicked?
Stevie: Well, we're not gay.
Jimmy: (to Stevie) You must get lots that say you are.
Gil: We don't drink (raises beer) Cheers! (pause) We're all 21.
EPMS note: No, they're not.
Jimmy: Kiss, Metallica.
Stevie: For me it was Kiss.
Dave: Kirk Hammett, Zakk Wylde.
EPMS: Which of the Seven Dwarfs are you?
Jimmy: Grumpy. I have a shirt that says that.
Gil: Definitely Sneezy.
EPMS: How do you coordinate your solos?
Stevie: We don't spontaneously throw them out there, we work them up.
Dave: We're not very spontaneous.
Gil: I don't think there's a dwarf named Horny.
EPMS: If you could be in one band, from now or from the past, for one day, which would it be?
Stevie: Black Label Society.
Jimmy: The Doors. It would be cool to replace Jim Morrison.
Gil: Black Label Society, or White Zombie.. but I'm not a girl.
Dave: Abzolut for one day.
Bernie: Probably AC/DC or slayer.
Jimmy: He (Bernie) does a good solo on Slayer.
EPMS: If you could only have one recreational substance for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Dave: : Beer.
Bernie: Royal Crown.
Stevie: Gotta go with my boy, Jack.
Gil: Malibu Rum. Sweet and gets the job done.
EPMS: Next El Paso band to make it:
Dave: Pissing Razors.
Gil: I like speed razor. I don't know, bands break up so often. I like Speed Razor. I also liked leak. Leak was cool.
Jimmy: They're not together any more.
Gil: I liked 8 stitches.
EPMS: What do you think of Atomic Pink?
Dave: Never heard of them
Jimmy: I've just barely heard of them.
Stevie: I know they're hot, but don't write that.
Gil: You Michael Jackson, you. The only thing I hear about them is from the newspaper. They have endorsements from everybody.
Jimmy: I think we should support them (LOL).
Dave: I want a Bud Light endorsement.
EPMS: Favorite cartoon as a kid?
Stevie: Bugs, when he dresses like a girl.
Jimmy: You are a pervert.
Bernie: I like Taz.
Jimmy: Elmer Fudd.
Gil: Groovy Ghoulies.
Dave: South Park and Family Guy.
Stevie: Gotta go with both of them.
Gil: Drawn Together. The very first show, they had two girls making out.
Bernie: I'll go with The Simpsons.
EPMS: Best concert you've ever seen:
Gil: Ozzfest 2000. It ruled.
Stevie: White Zombie and Pantera
Bernie: I gotta agree with that.
Dave: When Korn came. The 'Follow the Leader' tour.
Gil: AC/DC with Molly Hatchett, 1979.
Gil: I'm 41.
Bernie: I'm 32, but I'm older than Dave.
EPMS: What changes do y'all see yourselves making?
Dave: I want to stop eating roaches. They're tasty little fuckers, it's just hard to stop. Also, this doesn't have to be said: two women at once.
Gil: Put me down for three.
Stevie: I wouldn't mind going to Hawaii.
Gil: Bernie wants to stop peeing in his pants.
EPMS: What instrument would you play, if you had to play one besides your current instrument?
Bernie: Jimmy likes the trumpet
Jimmy: Bernie plays the skin flute.
Stevie: I'd like to be singer. like Rob Halford.
Bernie: I'd wanna sing like Jimmy! (LOL) Not!
EPMS: Stevie, how far along the Rob Halford line you wanna go?
Stevie: What do you mean?
EPMS: He's, umm... he likes guys.
Stevie: He's gay? forget that answer.
Bernie: You all lied to me: I thought y'all were straight when I joined.
Gil: (mimics) I'm stevie, You can bang my drum. Stevie wants to be Rob Halford.
Stevie: We need to thank our buddy Joe Green, he's our road man, he helps us set up lights, move the eqpt, basically the go-to guy when we need help.