Top 20 signs that your Manager/Promoter is on the wrong path.
20. Asks you for a down payment to get your music reviewed by him
19. He is selling tamales out of his car to get the first copy of your CD burned.
18. All of your bands door cash ends up fermented in his stomach or up his nose.
17. You find yourself at a band photo shoot wearing assless chaps and he thinks its a great career move.
16. In public he refers to you as the bass player when you are actually the drummer and he is your own brother.
15. He calls your music an eclectic collection of hard driving teenage angst parentally upsetting three chorded infusion of modern music when you simply call it punk.
14. All of the ladies think that he writes all of the love songs.
13. He reminisces the days when he promoted the greatest vocalists on earth, also known as Milli Vanilli.
12. On an emergency guitar string run he brings back banjo strings.
11. He cries when you tell him that your band will play the upcoming benefit show.
10. He thinks your music won┐t jive in Juarez because it is in a Third World Country.
9. He books your progressive metal band between two Mariachi groups.
8. He claims to be the distant cousin of Jim Ward, yet always refers to him as Fred.
7. He accepts gifts like huge wooden horses on your behalf.
6. He believes that PR stands for Proverbs.
5. He believes that A & R is a tax service
4. He believes Song Sharks are fish with great voices.
3. He thinks that MROs are great medical breakthroughs.
2. Advises you to buy an inexpensive Ford Fiesta as your tour bus.
1. His first line of promotion is making you paint your face and juggle your CDs on Gateway West.Nicholas Matta