20. They stop playing for an enchilada platter
19. The long Saturday night gigs at Surges are cutting into there church going routines.
18. In the middle of a Slipknot cover song your bassist stops and asks if he can funk it up like Badu.
17. Your rhythm guitarist states that your band is bigger than Jesus.
16. In the middle of a Tigres Del Norte song the accordion player busts out with the main melody from Love Song.
15. The club scene is triggering too many epileptic seizures.
14. Your cellist shows up with some turn-tables just in case.
13. Booty shaking women are hired for your next gig at the coffee shop.
12. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are sprouting up at your rehearsals.
11. The violinists of your mariachi group insist on singing in devil voices.
10. Your fellow Chamber music performers are dressing in drag.
9. You have blown out your band mates ear drums with your killer set-up.
8. Your band leader wants to go nothing but big band versions of Britney Spears songs.
7. Improvisation now includes defecating on stage.
6. Your lead singer grows an afro and asks everyone to call him Bixler.
5. Your bass player considers having a blunt as a traumatic head bunt.
4. In the middle of a Cure cover song your drummer complains about having to hit so many tom toms.
3. Your lead guitar player and principal songwriter gets married to a woman that listens exclusively to Kenny G.
2. Your band mates find the autographed Tiny Tim posters in your bedroom.
1. Nobody shows up to practice for 5 weeks.
Nicholas Matta (Aux.78)